![]() “To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.” ― Mary Oliver 4. But if you are vigilant about gently pulling it back to listening to the individual speaking, you will experience significant improvements. Initially, you may find your mind wandering several times throughout a conversation. When you find your mind wandering, take a deep breath, then gently tell yourself to re-focus on what the speaker is saying. Paying attention when someone else is speaking is a learned behavior for most of us. This is no easy task in a culture like ours that prides itself on multi-tasking. Continue to ask only one question at a time: This practice is also a good discipline in learning not to blurt out what is immediately on your mind. If there are other questions you want to ask, you’ll need to put them on hold until there is another pause in the conversation. When there is a pause in the conversation, then feel free to ask one question, and one question only, that has relevance to what the individual was discussing. The first rule of thumb about asking questions is to ask NO questions until the speaker is finished with her thought. “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand they listen with the intent to reply” – Stephen Covey 2. One action says: “I care and am listening to you.” The other action transmits the opposite message. someone else whose eyes are wandering in a conversation-whether in the office, at a party, or with a friend or family member. Think about how you feel when someone looks you straight in the eye while you’re talking vs. Good eye contact demonstrates genuine interest in what the speaker is saying and shows that you really care. Below are 5 listening skills that extremely successful people possess : 1. In fact, from my experience, I’d say that the majority of us could use a major tune up when it comes listening to others.The good news is that listening is a skill that can be taught, if you have the desire and discipline to practice. You and I both know intuitively that this can’t be true. A study done at Wright State University surveyed more than 8000 people and a high percentage of them ranked themselves as being at least as good or better listeners than their co-workers. Most people believe that they rank high on listening skills. Do you ever walk away from a conversation feeling like you haven’t been heard, that the other person wasn’t really listening to you? If so, you’re not alone.
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